


that hollow feeling

by PxrkerStark



Series: Peter Parker: The human disaster [10]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Crying, Eating Disorders, Flash isn't that bad, Michelle Jones Is a Good Bro, Not purposely though, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Precious Peter Parker, Recovery, Starvation, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Whump, hunger
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 03:08:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29057223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PxrkerStark/pseuds/PxrkerStark
Summary: Peter's enhanced metabolism made this really hard for him. He found his stomach growling throughout all hours of the day along with a painful stabbing feeling in his gut, making his stomach feel hollow and smaller every hour. When he sat down he swore he could feel his ribs poking through his sides and stomach and would sometimes reach down to rub a hand over his stomach to make sure they weren’t.
Relationships: Michelle Jones & Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: Peter Parker: The human disaster [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2009887
Comments: 10
Kudos: 168





	that hollow feeling

Peter’s stomach growled loudly while he listened as the teacher explained the Sokovia Accords to the class. Peter had started to worry about them but was assured he didn’t need to when Mr. Stark told him he wasn’t able to sign since he was still a minor.

That’s beside the point.

Peter hasn’t eaten a full meal in weeks, months even. May has been so busy and taking more shifts meaning she usually wasn’t home to make dinner since she took the night shifts. She had asked Peter if he would be okay with that and of course he told her he was completely okay with it. 

And he was, it was just harder trying to make himself dinner when there wasn’t anything in the house he could use to make something. He had been relying on sandwiches the first week. May eventually went out and got groceries but not as many as usual because they were tight on money which is why she was taking extra shifts. 

Peter started making himself soup or grilled cheese or anything else he could think of but it wasn’t much. But he wasn’t going to complain and stress May out even more. She was so busy and Peter didn’t want to bother her. 

Peters enhanced metabolism made this really hard for him. He found his stomach growling throughout all hours of the day along with a painful stabbing feeling in his gut, making his stomach feel hollow and smaller every hour. When he sat down he swore he could feel his ribs poking through his sides and stomach and would sometimes reach down to rub a hand over his stomach to make sure they weren’t. 

He only ever saw May when he was leaving for school and she always made sure to give him some money for the week to get himself from Delmars after school or before if he had time knowing they were running low on food and that Peter needed more than the average teenager. 

Peter swore that everytime his stomach went through that phase of growling and twisting painfully before suddenly stopping, leaving a hollow feeling, that his stomach was shrinking. He would go through the day and usually around 11 - 12 his stomach would churn for about an hour or two before finally stopping, and he was no longer hungry. 

He was sat with Ned and MJ in the cafeteria. MJ had her nose buried in a book like usual, reading about the Rwandan genocide while Ned was doing his usual rambling over The Mandalorian, making sure he didn’t spoil anything that Peter hadn’t seen yet. 

The pains in his stomach began and he bit his lip trying to suppress the whimper trying to escape his throat. He had already eaten his granola bar May gave him and was sipping out of the juice box he got for free from the lunch lady. 

Peter instinctively wrapped an arm around his stomach, pressing down as if trying to suppress the pains even if he knew they were internal and there was nothing he could do about it except eat food. But he couldn’t even do that. 

Flash walked by the table and Peter tensed up, preparing for his daily teasing and insults but relaxed when all the boy did was  _ ‘accidentally’  _ drop his slice of Pizza onto his table in front of him. Peter slowly looked up at the boy with a questioning frown. Flash looked him over before giving a small smile and leaving, leaving Peter confused but grateful for the food. 

Peter picked the pizza off of the paper towel it was on and began eating it, slowly so he didn’t upset his stomach since it wasn’t used to the food. He knew this would be nowhere close to the amount of food he needed but at least it would quell his hunger for a bit. 

Ned and MJ knew about his need for more food and would always offer him something from their lunches but Peter would always decline their offer, saying that they still needed to eat too and that he’d be fine. They would insist and sometimes Peter would accept the food and other times he would decline it depending on how hungry he was. 

Peter finished the Pizza and felt somewhat better, the pain in his stomach being reduced to a dull throbbing. He talked with MJ and Ned for the rest of the lunch break until the bell rang to dismiss them to their afternoon classes. 

The group of three stood up and were laughing and chatting while walking down the hall to the class they all had together when suddenly Peter felt his stomach churn and he was hit with a sudden wave of dizziness. Ned held out his hands to steady him when he nearly toppled over. 

“Are you good, dude?” Ned asked worriedly. Peter tried to nod but instead ended up darting into the nearest bathroom, slamming open one of the stall doors and emptying the small amount of food in his stomach into the toilet. 

His knees buckled and he collapsed to the gross bathroom tiles while holding his head over the toilet and emptying his stomach’s contents. Ned came rushing in along with MJ who didn’t care that it was the boys washroom and only cared about her friend. 

“Peter?” Ned called softly as he walked over to the stall Peter was slumped in. He saw Peter reach up a shaky hand and flush the toilet before slumping with his back against the stall wall. 

“I knew I shouldn’t have eaten that Pizza.” he groaned, letting his head fall back against the wall as he panted. MJ walked over to him and crouched down, taking in how ill he looked. She hadn’t noticed before but she did now. His cheekbones were protruding a little more than they were last month and his eyes looked sunken, dark bags under them. 

“Peter this is getting serious.” she told him, her voice concerned which was odd coming from MJ who usually held a monotone tone with everything she said unless it was something serious. 

“M’ fine. I just ate too fast.” he tried to shrug her off, waving a hand in dismissal of her concerns. 

“No, Peter. Usually you can eat three pizzas in one sitting and now you can't even have one slice without throwing it up? This isn’t okay. You have an eating disorder and you need help.” She said, her tone hard and gaze scrutinizing. 

“I don’t have an eating disorder.” he denied as he began to push himself to his feet, MJ standing up with him and holding out a hand in case he needed help. 

“Yes you do. These are the exact signs of an eating disorder. The stomach pains, not being able to eat as much as you used to, throwing up whenever you _do_ eat... Your stomach is shrinking from lack of food and it’ll only get worse if you don’t do something to fix it. Peter you’re losing weight, I can almost see your ribs through your shirt for god sake! ” She exclaimed, her eyes hard and frantic, her worry for her best friend showing.

“I’m trying, MJ… I promise I’m trying.” Peter said, his voice small. MJ’s eyes softened and she reached out a hand, taking Peter’s into hers. 

“I just worry, you know that right?” she said softly. Peter smiled.

“I know, I promise I’ll work harder. It’s just been hard with how tight on money we’ve been. I don’t want to stress May out.” Peter shrugged. 

“Well maybe you don’t have to tell May. Have you thought about telling Stark?” she suggested and Peter shook his head. “Well maybe think about that and tell him when your ready. He’d do anything to make sure you’re taken care of.” MJ smiled before pulling Peter into a hug. The teenager wrapped his arms around her, happily accepting the hug. 

“I don’t mean to interrupt but uh, we’re gonna be late for class.” Ned cleared his throat awkwardly from behind the pair. They pulled back from each other and nodded, agreeing. Peter walked over to the sink and rinsed out the gross taste in his mouth before slinging his backpack over his shoulder and following his friends to class. 

* * *

Peter watched out the window as the sun went down while he thought about what MJ said. He hopped off the subway and made his way over to Delmars Deli. The bell rang as he entered the store and he grabbed a small bag of cheetos before walking over to the counter. 

“Hey, Parker. Are you doing alright? You look a little sick.” Mr. Delmar furrowed his brows in concern when he took in Peter’s disheveled appearance. Peter gave a reassuring smile.

“Yeah just got a bit of a stomach bug. I’m okay.” he told him as he rang up the cheetos and the other worker behind him made the sandwich that Mr. Delmar knew he was always there to get. Peter walked over and pet Murph while waiting for his order to be finished. 

He paid for his stuff and said goodbye to Mr. Delmar before beginning his walk home. He unwrapped his sandwich and raised it to his mouth to take a bite but stopped when his senses spiked and he could hear a faint scream. He didn’t hesitate before wrapping his sandwich back up and stuffing it into his backpack before running into an alleyway to change into his suit. 

He hasn’t been patrolling a lot due to his lack of food which meant he didn’t have the energy but he went out as much as he could. He ran into an alleyway and looked around before stripping out of his clothes and pulling on his suit. The screams were getting louder that he didn’t even remember to web up his backpack before he was sprinting off toward the screams. 

A few blocks down was a girl he recognized from his school being wrestled to the ground by a large man. She was one of the more wealthy students and the man obviously wanted something of hers. 

Peter attached a web to a building and used it to swing down. He whooped as his feet came in contact with the mugger's face, sending him flying into the wall of the alleway. The girl took that as her chance to get up and run as Peter webbed the man to the wall. 

He told Karen to alert the police before swinging away, bidding the mugger a goodbye. He could feel his head spinning, his vision blurry and tilting as he made his way back to the alleyway he left his backpack in. He kept low to the ground to be safe. 

The sun was nearly down by the time he got back. He landed in the alleyway and dropped onto his knees. He squeezed his eyes shut and panted as he tried to fight off nausea. His stomach was beginning to twist painfully and he was just glad that he still had his sandwich in his backpack--

His backpack wasn’t in the alleyway anymore but his clothes were strewn across the dirty alleyway. He felt close to tears. All of his money for the rest of the week was gone meaning he wouldn’t be able to buy any food for the next four days. He definitely wasn’t going to ask May for more money since it was his fault it was stolen in the first place. 

Peter got back to his feet, scooped up his clothing and rubbed his eyes through the mask, fighting off tears before lifting his hand and shooting a web to a building and pulling himself up. 

* * *

Peter crawled through his window and dropped to the floor in the middle of his room. He pulled off his mask and curled up into a ball lying on his side. 

He knew May wasn’t home so he let it all out. The pains in his stomach became too much and he began to sob. He cried until his voice was raw and scratchy, his throat hurt from his wails as he clutched at his stomach. 

He continued to cry for about five minutes before he heard his phone go off in his jeans pocket which luckily hadn’t been stolen. He sniffled and reached out to grab his pants. He pulled out his phone to see that Mr. Stark was calling. He took a second to pull himself together before answering.

“H-Hello?” he sniffed.

“Hey kid. I got an alert that your heart rate increased along with your blood pressure. You doing okay? Any injuries I should know about?” came Tony’s voice, concerned but soft. Peter smiled at how much he cared and worried about the smallest things. Sometimes it could be annoying but at least he knew Mr. Stark cared about him.

“No, I’m okay. I just had a bad day.” Peter said quietly, sniffling again. Tony was silent for a bit before he asked. 

“You been crying, buddy?” he asked and Peter squeezed his eyes shut. Of course Tony would figure it out. He didn’t answer and Tony sighed. “Hey, how about you come over and help me work on some new features for my suit. How does that sound?” 

“That sounds nice, Mr. Stark.” he smiled.

“Okay, cool. I’ll send Happy to come to pick you up. See you then, Pete.” Tony said gently before hanging up.

* * *

Peter thanked Happy before getting out of the car. His stomach pains had calmed a bit to a dull pain but he was able to mostly ignore it as he made his way into the lobby of the tower. He waved at Sarah, one of the lady’s that worked at the counter. She smiled and waved back. 

Peter walked into the elevator and FRIDAY automatically took him up to the lab. He waited a few minutes before the door opened, revealing the large glass window to the lab and Tony inside who was blasting AC/DC while working on the boot of his suit.

Tony didn’t notice Peter until he typed in the code and opened the glass doors, FRIDAY turning the music down as Peter walked inside. Tony turned around and gave Peter a large smile, walking over to pull him into a side hug. The kid had told him he was having a bad day and Tony wanted to do everything in his power to make it better. 

“Hey, Mr. Stark.” Peter greeted, quieter than usual which didn’t sound right for the usual chatty and energetic teenager. 

“Hey, spider-baby. Come help me with the boot, it has been acting up lately and going dead stick on me. I gotta fix the blaster so I don’t fall out of the sky on the next mission.” Tony explained before walking back over to the boot set up on the counter. 

Peter nodded and set down the large books of homework he had been carrying since he didn’t have a backpack to carry them anymore. He figured since he was here he could catch up on some homework too and help Tony with the suit whenever he needed him. 

Tony pointed out the problem to Peter before continuing to work on it with the kids' help. It was quiet for a bit before Tony looked up at Peter unsurely. 

“You wanna tell me why you had a bad day or no?” He asked. Peter looked up at him through his lashes and considered before shaking his head and averting his eyes back to the task at hand. “Suit yourself. But if you wanna talk to me about it you can.” Tony told him and Peter couldn’t hold back the smile pulling at his lips.

One hour and a half later and the pains were back at full force. Luckily Tony didn’t need his help for the moment so Peter sat at the counter and began working on his Spanish homework. But he couldn’t focus with the stabbing in his gut. 

A wave of dizziness hit him and he shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to get rid of it. He really just wanted food but he couldn’t even eat anything without throwing it all up. At this point, he thought he was a lost cause. 

He continued to fight off the dizziness for about fifteen minutes before it became too much.

“I could use some help with this part, kiddo.” Tony called over to him. 

Peter forced himself to stand up but that made to be a mistake as soon as his vision tilted and the room spun. The next thing he knew his eyes were rolling into the back of his head and his legs gave out underneath him, sending him collapsing to the ground. He could distantly hear Tony’s shout before he passed out. 

* * *

“C’mon, Bambino. Open those baby browns for me. Let me know you’re okay.” Peter could hear a quiet voice. He could feel arms around him and a hand under his head. He felt like his eyelids were glued shut as he tried to open them. 

The voice continued to comfort and encourage him until he managed to open his heavy eyelids. The lights blinded him for a second before he got used to them and Tony’s face came into focus. He was cradled to his chest, Tony kept his hand behind Peter’s head, supporting it so it wouldn’t roll back. 

“Hey, Petey. You’re okay. You had a pretty bad fall. I managed to catch you before you hit your head though.” 

Peter stared up at him with tired eyes, still coming back to himself. When he finally did he was once again aware of the pain in his stomach. He pinched his eyes shut and bit his lip to suppress a cry. 

It didn’t work. Peter didn’t care that Tony saw him as he began crying, he buried his face in Tony’s black sabbath shirt, it grew damp from his tears. Tony was slightly freaking out. He didn’t know why Peter was crying. He caught him before he could get hurt so what was the problem?

“You’re okay, Pete. What’s wrong baby? Please talk to me?” Tony pleaded as he cradled the sobbing teenager closer to his chest, he noticed the way Peter curled in on himself and wrapped an arm around his stomach. 

“Okay, Petey. Take some deep breaths for me. In and out.” Tony walked him through a breathing exercise until finally, the boy’s sobs calmed down. “Now can you please tell me what’s got you so worked up?” Peter looked up at him with those damn adorable doe eyes and Tony swore his heart broke with the pain held in them. 

“C-can I please have something to eat.” Peter asked softly and Tony was slightly confused. 

“Of course. Let's go upstairs and get some food, then you can tell me what’s going on.” 

Peter nodded and let Tony help him to his feet. He followed his pseudo father to the elevator and waited as it took them to the penthouse. 

Peter waited on the couch while Tony made some soup for the both of them. He wiped at his eyes and sniffled, trying to hold back tears as he thought of how to tell Tony about his… eating disorder. 

Tony came back with two hot bowls of soup in his hands and gently handed one to Peter before sitting down next to the boy. He turned on an episode of Lucifer. A show Peter had become addicted to as soon as he saw Tony watching it one night. 

Peter made sure to take small sips and to go slow. He really hoped he would be able to keep it down this time. He really didn’t want to throw up twice in one day. He finished his soup and sat in silence, watching as Lucifer slammed his hands on the Detective's desk, yelling that he couldn’t sleep. Lucifer described perfectly what Peter felt about the fact that he  _ couldn’t eat _ . He was so frustrated. He was so exhausted.

Peter thought that he finally did it, for the first time in a week he was able to eat something and keep it down. But then he was jolting up from the couch and darting down to the closest bathroom. 

Tony was shocked at Peter’s sudden departure and got to his feet quickly, running to where Peter ran. It was when he heard the sounds of gagging and heaving coming from the open door to the bathroom that he slowed down. 

“Pete?” Tony called, he turned the corner to see Peter with his head nearly in the toilet as he brought up everything he had eaten. Again.

His body was his enemy at this point. It screams at him to be fed, it hurts him and puts him through endless pain. But as soon as it is fed it rejects the food completely. Then repeats the cycle of wanting, getting, then rejecting. 

Peter was tired. He reached up and flushed the toilet once he was done before curling up on the cold bathroom tiles and bursting into sobs once more. He was surprised he even had any tears to shed considering how dehydrated he was since he could barely even drink water without throwing that up too. 

“I can’t. I can’t do it.” Peter sobbed, his cries breaking Tony’s heart as the older man walked into the bathroom. 

“Oh, buddy…” he said softly, his brows furrowing in concern. He crouched down in front  of the teenager and pulled him to his chest. “What can’t you do? What’s going on?” 

“I-I can’t eat, Mr. S-stark. Everything I eat I throw up, but I can’t handle the pains that come with no f-food so I try to eat but I just throw u-up every time. MJ says I have an e-eating disorder and I didn’t think I did but n-now I've started to understand what she meant. I can’t do it, Tony. I can’t. It hurts too much.” Peter explained between sobs and heaves of air.

Tony was silent. He knew he had noticed something off about Peter. He noticed that the boy looked skinnier and how he didn’t go on patrols almost at all anymore, his mood has been down for the past month, he always avoided eating in front of him. Probably for this exact reason. Tony felt horrible. How had he not noticed sooner. 

“I’ve got you. You’ll be okay. I’ll help you work through this, okay? You aren’t alone. It will take time for your body to get used to being fed again but you can do it. I will be here by your side the entire time, and I’m sure if you told May she would say the exact same thing. You don’t have to do this alone. You’ll be okay, Pete.” Tony told him, lifting his chin so he could look at him. Peter stared up at him with tear filled eyes. 

“I wasn’t doing it on purpose. I just- we’ve been tight on money a-and I didn’t want to stress May out or worry her even more than she already is. I didn’t know it would get this bad, I swear. I n-need help.” Peter whimpered, fisting Tony’s shirt in his hand. 

“I’m here. You’ll be okay.” Tony told him, squeezing him tighter in his arms. Peter nuzzled his face into his mentor's neck.

“Promise?” 

“I promise.” 

And so Peter got help. Tony sent lunch to his school everyday, making sure he had enough for the day. Peter agreed to tell May and she made sure to have dinner made and put in the freezer for Peter to eat while she was at work.

Ned and MJ would eat with him and tell him to slow down whenever he was eating too fast. He started with eating small things every few hours. Letting his stomach stretch out again back to its original size. Then went to eating larger portions, and finally he was able to eat at least one full meal a day without upsetting his stomach.

That hollow feeling was finally gone. The twisting pain that he had grown used to was gone too. Peter gained weight again and began looking like himself again. His moods were better, Tony was so happy to see his smile again, his  _ genuine  _ smile. 

It wasn’t easy at all. And he wasn’t exactly there yet but he was getting there. He knew in time, with Mr. Stark, May, Ned, and MJ by his side… That he’d be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> My sister was anorexic so I know it's not at all easy to just fix an eating disorder. His description of how he feels when he’s hungry is based on how I feel. I don’t know if it makes sense but I tried my best to make sure it made as much sense as it could. With Covid and online school, I've been horrible with my eating and I feel this horrible hollow and stabbing pain in my stomach every day for a few hours but ignore it until it goes away. But I am working to make sure I eat more. If anyone else is struggling with this you got this :) I believe in you. You’ll be okay.


End file.
